Dell Customer Service - AWFUL

Having significant issues with Dell customer service and trying to see if there is a workaround. I purchased an Inspiron 14 which from the start had significant abnormal continuous loud fan noises. I contacted Dell customer support who ran the various tests but were not able to resolve. I have reviewed all the YouTube clips and other trouble shooting "fixes" with no success.

At issue is I tried to return the laptop within 30 days (as I was supposed to be allowed to do), got the UPS shipping label and was told by Dell that UPS was scheduled to pick up the laptop on Day 29. UPS however did not show up and I am now passed the 30 days. Dell is now refusing to take the laptop back or exchange it as I am over their 30 day limit. I am now stuck with a laptop that is not usable. 

Most frustrating part is that customer service is highly scripted and cannot deviate from policies or what is written in front of them. How can I speak with someone who can help and who can resolve issues independently without a script? Every time I call them, I get someone new in India (nothing wrong with where they from..) who I must explain the issue to again and respond back with the same scripted e-mail. No one can think or respond outside of the box they are put in.